Amanda and Melissa

Amanda and Melissa are the sisters I never had. They are my cousins, my dads sisters daughters. We all lived near each other growing up, they moved a lot, but they were never far. They stayed a lot w us and at the "big house" with my grandparents. They are ones that, I may not see for months, but when we catch up, we leave nothing out. They get all my dirty deets, and they love me any way. They know I'm bossy, going to come up w bad ideas and that I'm going to be yelling. But they love me anyway. I'm on vacation this week and so is Melissa cause she works w us. So they invited me and the kids to go w them to broken bow and we are staying in a cabin. I wasn't sure what I was going to do with myself, while on vacation, left to my own devices, I get into trouble. I have always been that way. So when they invited me, it made my heart happy to be included. I have not been in a good brain space and they know it. So they included me and my three kids. They are my family. They are my blessing for the day. We have fun together doing dumb things, and we dance and laugh a lot. I'm always humbled by God when I get to a place that I can't get out of(a blackness inside) because as surely as I find myself there, God uses other people to show me I am not alone. It may be something so simple as them inviting me on a vacation with me, just because there is a extra room,. But the fact God provided a extra room and he showed me I was included. Even with out asking for some thing to save me from sitting at home, being sucked into my blackness. I never expect God to offer me some solace. But he brings the light to me every moment that I sit in the dark. He never fails me. I may not always accept his help. But I always know he's going to be there. To wait patiently for me to pick myself up and keep walking to him. Towards him, so he can get me to my purpose. God uses your people, more than you think, to show you he's here. I'm such a human that I fight it sometimes. I fight his grace off like a war going on inside me. But he just keeps trying different ways to get my attention. He does the same for all his humans. You just have to pay attention. Today I take my blessings with a humble heart, and a tear in my soul and know, that even tho, I'm not anywhere I expected to be and I'm confused on what direction I should go, I still am aware, that my divine is standing with me. Sometimes he shoves me, sometimes he cradles me. And sometimes he just patiently waits till I get my ass up and move. But he still stands with me.